Category: Nablopomo

My Superpower

I always choose the table next to the super awkward first date. It’s my superpower.

It doesn’t matter what kind of establishment I’m at; a restaurant, a pub, a bar, a coffee house. I’ve even managed to find the awkward first date at sporting events. It doesn’t matter what time of day, what day of the week; if you’re having an awkward first date, chances are I’m at the next table over cringing on your behalf.

You know, but in a non-creepy kind of way.

Anyway. On Friday, I was doing some freelance work at a coffee shop, as I like to do from time to time for a change of scenery. And across from where I was working, a couple seated themselves at a table, coffees in hand. It had all of the signs that I’ve come to know so well, thanks to my superpower; awkward small talk, tight smiles, glances over the shoulder and around the room. At one point, the woman turned so her entire body was facing away from her date. She checked her watch. Thirteen times. She leaned far back in her chair, creating as much distance between them as physically possible without falling backwards out of her chair. She crossed her arms. Her date was not picking up on her ‘I’m just not that into you’  signs. When the woman pulled out her phone and started scrolling through it while her date rattled on about his love of the outdoors, I was cringing internally so hard, I was worried I wasn’t going to be able to keep the look on my face neutral any longer. Nothing says ‘I give no fucks about this date’ more than pulling out your phone to text and browse.

When the woman escaped to the bathroom, I figured that was the last I would see of her. I figured that it was probably the last Clueless Dude would see of her, too. She’d be doing him a favour honestly.

About fifteen minutes later, though, she returned, much to my surprise. It didn’t surprise Clueless Dude at ALL, because he’s clueless. She was working very hard to extricate herself from the date, telling Clueless Dude that she was sorry, but she should be going. He didn’t seem to get it. I fought the urge to pass him a note explaining the situation.

Finally, the woman managed to get her message across. He went in for a hug. She grimaced and said no before making a break for it.

My superpower, ladies and gentlemen.

Next time, I think I’m just going to stick to take away.
NaBloPoMo November 2014

 

This month, I’m participating in NABLOPOMO! So are some of my friends. Visit their blogs for more Nablopomoey goodness:

photo credit: hfabulous via photopin cc

 

Not at all awkward…

 

CAH

Today, my brother turned 28. What the actual eff.

He wanted to celebrate by having people over to play board games and he made his famous homemade pizza. My brother and sister-in-law have a pretty impressive collection of board games, but the birthday boy wanted to try out the game he’d just received for his birthday from his wife; Cards Against Humanity.

It’s like an R-rated version of Apples to Apples, an interesting fill-in-the-blank style game, and it is absolutely terrible.

It’s also heaps of fun.

But man, can it be awkward. Especially depending on who you’re playing the game with.

Yesterday, at my brother’s house, we sat down with my brothers, my sister-in-law and her parents. I don’t know her parents very well. But the idea of having to read out loud cards that said thinks like ‘Fleshlight’, ‘unreciprocated oral sex’ and ‘A sad hand job’ around a retired cop and my sister-in-law’s mom…

…but it turns out, it wasn’t awkward at all.

That and we quickly learned ‘Kanye West’ or ‘A sad hand job’ wins. Every. Damn. Time.

 

NABLOPOMO 2014!

NaBloPoMo November 2014

It’s November and that means…. NATIONAL BLOG POSTING MONTH. Or, because this is the internet and we love, love, LOVE to shorten things; it’s NABLOPOMO.

I’ve given this a whirl in the past, with various levels of success. This year, I’m looking at it more as a way to gently nudge me to write for my personal blog. I’ve been neglecting this, even more so since I’ve been writing articles and blog posts for other people thanks to freelancing.

So, here we go again.

Are you participating this year? Let me know and I’ll link to your blog in my Nablopomo posts!

 

What a character

The Blogher NaBloPoMo prompt for today asks us to post about our favourite character and since this is falling on HIMYM night, I figured it was appropriate to mention my favourite ensemble of characters; Lily, Marshall, Ted, Barney and Robin from the show How I Met Your Mother.

This isn’t a show I’ve watched from the beginning.  It started airing in North America while I lived in Australia, so I started watching the show in 2009, a few seasons in, after binge-watching the show one summer at the suggestion of my brother and his girlfriend.  The premise seemed like it would get tired fast, but the characters have carried the show so well. (more…)