Tag: winter

Sneaky Hate Spiral, do not want.

GFM / 12 years ago

Okay, so… I was starting to worry that perhaps my funk may be a little more serious than a funk.  Granted, the stress has been higher than usual this year.  But I was doing things that were out of character.  I was having bad weeks instead of bad days.  I’ve been moody and brooding and quiet.   I started avoiding seeing my friends and visiting my family.  I was hating school.  I essentially quit band.

Guys, I quit band.

WTAF.

So, yeah.  I was getting to the point where I was starting to worry about the intensity of my funk.  But then a few things happened.

Two weeks ago, I went for an interview.  I need to complete a work placement for the program I’m taking and two Fridays ago, I went to meet with my potential supervisor.  I got to talk to her about something new and be exposed to an entirely different work environment.  I came away from there feeling energized and excited.  Feeling those things made me realise how long it’s been since I’ve felt them.

Then yesterday, even though work was insanely busy and stressful, I still had a good day.  I made it through 8 hours of ridiculousness and was still in a decent mood by the end of the work day.  I escaped the office and met someone for lunch.  The sun was shining and I got to feel it warm on my face.  It felt like spring.  And I was feeling energized and excited again.

These seemed like such mundane, ordinary things, but they had a huge impact; it shook me right out of this nearly four month funk.  The realisation left me feeling a little stupid.  It makes sense that this would be all it would take to get things in perspective and get me out of this funk, but when I was right in the middle of this particular sneaky hate spiral, I just could not for the life of me come up with a solution.

So, I’m tucking this away in hopes that next winter when I trip into this funk, I will remember that the best way to shake it off is to find something that energizes me and may be a little different from things I’ve done before.  Work is still going to be insane.  People will still cause drama and stress.  But that so doesn’t mean I have to let it put me in a bad mood.  Why can’t I remember this?  Seriously.

Oh, and guys, in case you were wondering… This Saturday, I’m going to go play with the band.

 

 

Bad romance

GFM / 12 years ago

Do you know how they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder?  They’re so not lying.

As some of you may know, I lived in a long distance relationship for years…with snow.

In my mind, snow was this glorious, amazing thing.  It blanketed everything in sparkles.  It seemed to make everything just a bit quieter, just a bit cleaner, just a bit more magical.

Snow was fun.  It was playful.  Flirty. Romantic.

I’d missed it so much that when I came home for Christmas holidays to discover there wasn’t any snow on the ground… I was a little heartbroken.  Felt a bit stood up.

So I returned to Oz and continued to pine for snow.  By that time it had become pretty clear to me that I’d fallen truly, madly, deeply in love with snow.  At least I thought I’d fallen truly, madly, deeply in love with snow.

Then I moved back to Canada.  I was excited to experience the colour changes of fall, experience drastic changes of the seasons and finally, finally be reunited with snow.

When I caught the first glimpse of snow on Halloween that year, I was pretty damn excited.

But then the snow just kept coming.  It brought with it freezing weather, dry skin, wet boots, slippery sidewalks, treacherous driving conditions, and long, dark, dreary days.

Snow was kind of a disappointment.  Snow was a bit of a douche who didn’t know when it was time to go home and never cleaned up after himself.

It didn’t take long for me to realise I wasn’t at all in love with snow.  I was in love with the idea of snow.  Living with the reality of snow never, ever compared to the fantasy I’d built up about it in my head.  What a bummer.

My love for snow was all but gone by the end of that first winter home.  These days, I try to avoid it at all costs…

 

…That’s my long winded way of saying I’m kinda glad Snowmegeddon didn’t happen today.  And I’m not at all sorry for feeling that way.

 

 
photo credit: rachel_titiriga via photopin cc