A letter sent out into the world on behalf of moreloveletters.com;

Dear friend,

I remember what it feels like to not feel loved.  It wasn’t that long ago that I felt that way.  I wanted that feeling so desperately that I was willing to stay in a relationship long after I should, long after those feelings were gone.  I hoped they’d come back.  I figured maybe it was just a phase, or maybe I needed to change something about myself  so I’d be loved again.  I’d be funnier, smarter, prettier, quieter… 

In the process of trying to recapture the feeling of being loved, I ended up completely losing myself instead.  Suddenly, I didn’t recognize myself anymore.  There was nothing left of the me I was before him.  I was miserable and I didn’t like the person I’d become.  

So first, I’ll say please don’t do that.  Because unless you love your authentic self (I know, it sounds cliche and not at all helpful.  I thought the same thing when someone said this to me), your true self won’t shine through.

Secondly, if  they don’t like you, or something about you, that’s their problem.  Not yours.  Because you’re wonderful and fabulous just the way you are.  You are enough.  They’re just a little too slow to see it.  Sometimes, they’ll figure that out.  Sometimes, they won’t.  Sometimes they’ll see it at first, then take it for granted later on.  But that is not your fault.  

Lastly, I have to tell you it will happen.  And then you’ll not remember what it feels like to not know it.  That’s of little comfort right now.  I know, cuz, like I said, I remember feeling the way you do.  But then, suddenly, it will happen and then there will be a time where you’ll only remember feeling loved.  Because you’re wonderful, you’re fabulous and you’re enough.  



  • Oh I love this! This is just what I needed. Especially the part that says “if they don’t like you or something about you, that’s their problem”. I need to get this into my brain.

    • GFM

      It’s not easy, but such an important lesson, Candace. It took me a long time to figure that out.

  • tomfromhr

    Very nice GFM. 🙂 I said this to you already, but this is something I really need to ingrain into my mind.

    Also, love the blog redesign!

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